I was listening to a the Bob and Tom Show this morning, a show that gets less funny with every hair that the hosts loose (and have you ever tried to watch the TV show; it's unwatchable!). They covered a news story that stated, according to a scientific study, the average friendship lasts about seven years before said friends move on to greener pastures. The majority of people that I consider friends I have known for far more than seven years. I have family members that I consider some of my best friends as well. That being said...
Never one to piss in the face of science, I would like to let all my old friends know that your services are no longer needed. Yes, we've had some tremendous times, heartfelt moments, shared holidays and birthdays together and experienced things that only true friends can experience. So it's been real. I also have to cut my wife loose. You are the love of my life but apparently my life is cut into seven year increments so hit the bricks, sister. Dylan, my son, you are on warning. We've only got four years left. Make 'em count, boy! Marley, my beautiful daughter, live it up...six years and we are over! I wish I'd known this all sooner. I've known some of you clowns for twenty years or more! Good God!
Time to hit the bars and do some networking. Got to meet some new friends. I've got seven years until I do it all over again. This is going to be great! So long, a-holes!
Thank you, Science, for setting me free! Bring on the empty void!!!
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