Monday, June 29, 2009

This Whole Michael Jackson Business

Like everyone, I was shocked to hear of the death of Michael Jackson. He was one of those guys who you never expected to die unless it was on the plastic surgeon's table. He seemed so well preserved that you almost expected him to outlive us all. He'd be a modern day Methusela. But, alas, it appears that modern medicine, or the abuse of it, is likely what killed him.

I can't say I was a big fan of his. I don't think he put out a great song since Billie Jean or Human Nature. I also wondered why he was the biggest name in pop music when we had a guy named Prince on the scene. But I understand his appeal to a point. His charisma and presence were undeniable. His dancing and singing style became trademark. You knew Michael Jackson when you heard him and, certainly, when you saw him.

This is what I did not understand about him:

* The plastic surgery. You know, he was a really good looking guy in the 70's. He had the cool afro, a handsome face, a mannish build. He was cool. Legend has it that his brothers would tease him about having a wide nose and that led to the utter destruction of his nose. To this day, I've still never seen anyone with a nose that looks like it was shaped out of Silly Putty (except maybe Sarah Michelle Gellar). He also had the huge, U-shaped jaw implanted in his face. He began to look more like a Dali panting than flesh and blood human. My buddy, Chuck, said that he saw a pic of Michael with his hair pulled back and his ear was mangled from doctors having to remove the cartilage from his ear to repair his putty nose, which is why he wore long haired wigs. As for the "bleached" skin, he had the pigment disease that left white splotches on his skin. So to combat it he went white. For that, I empathize. But that nose...holy shit.

* The God complex. Did you ever see the footage of Michael on the MTV Europe Music Awards where he sang "Heal the World" and was healing children on the stage just by touch? The kids would touch his hand and suddenly they are alive, vibrant and singing the syrupy pop song. They continued to follow the Prophet Michael throughout the song and may as well have bowed to him and kissed his feet. Then there was the promotional tour for the History album where he had giant golden statues made of himself and sailed them to the US and Europe on boats. I guess we really could use a new Statue of Liberty since the other one is old and in need of regular maintenance. I'm not sure a fey child molester wearing a sequined military jacket is a good substitute though. Let's add that he also has three test tube children who are not allowed to see their mother, nor is she allowed to have any contact with them. They could use a mother now more than ever but, contractually, that won't happen.

* The Ego. It takes a lot of nerve and ego to call yourself the King of Pop. It also takes nerve to screw a friend out of his own musical legacy. Kind of like when Michael outbid his "friend" and collaborator on "Say Say Say", Paul McCartney, on the Beatles catalog, claiming it was just business. When Michael began to experience money troubles, instead of selling some or all of the catalog to McCartney, he sold half of it to Sony. As word has it, Michael was in so much hock to Sony that the other half of the collection will likely go to Sony as collateral. So as the only living songwriter in the Beatles (and don't start with Ringo; he played drums and did coffee runs for the other three geniuses, although if Ringo wants credit for "You Know My Name, Look Up the Number" he can have it), he will never own the groundbreaking music that he wrote and performed because you know Sony isn't going to sell it to him. When it was all said and done, even the most valuable musical catalog in the history of music couldn't even save Michael from near bankruptcy as he was reportedly in debt upwards of $400 Million. How can anyone be that much in debt?!? I look at that amount and I can't fathom even that much money let alone owe it! That's like saying, I owe enough debt to cover a house and two vehicles. Michael Jackson owed enough debt to cover a multi-national company with a couple thousand employees.

* The child molestation. This can be argued to death but lets consider this: Back in the mid-90's when the original allegations that Michael sexually abused children arose, instead of being willing to go to court and prove his innocence and clear his name, he paid off the families and made it all go away. He may as well have pleaded the fifth. It was at that point that I wanted nothing else to do with the King of Pop. Then he was charged again with more allegations, forced to go to court and exonerated. However, an interview with Martin Bashir came out around the same time where Michael said it was okay to sleep in a bed with teenage boys. Michael has been a troubled man for years, no question. But no amount of trouble should be relieved on young kids, right? Do you remember in the movie Pulp Fiction where Jules Winfield reveals that he doesn't eat pig because it's a filthy animal. Vincent Vega asks if he would eat a dog, also a filthy animal, and Jules says no, because dogs have personality and that goes a long way. By that rationale, are we to ignore Michaels filthy animal ways because we like Smooth Criminal and the Moonwalk? Is it all okay, the child buggering, because he performed Thriller and had a pet monkey?

There are a lot of other things I don't understand about Michael Jackson but lets not beat it, so to speak. He's dead and leaves three test tube children, a wanting mother, a mountain of debt and hundreds of Yes Men unemployed. Michael was troubled. He had lots of bad people with bad intentions in his ear, telling him he needed to do this and do that to make money even though he was a broken man whose glory days were behind him and 50 concerts in London likely wouldn't bring him back to the top. He was a man who abandoned common sense for fame and excess. So while it's easy to admire him because he was a great dancer, a unique singer, a natural presence and performer and an intriguing figure, ultimately he was a man who left an even uglier legacy of deviant sexual behavior and unacceptable, egotistical greed. As humanitarian as he would like as all to believe he was, he was actually quite the opposite. It's okay to like his music but this idol worship that's going on after his death is rather disgusting.

So, hey, rest in peace, Mike. If you can.

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